Post-Divorce Checklist: 7 Steps for Success After Your Divorce

Divorce
You did it! Your divorce has been finalized. Give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back for surviving that process. Your fresh start is on the horizon. To help you begin your fresh start, we have compiled a checklist of common action items following a divorce.   
  1. Review Your Final Judgment
    • Create a list of the items you and your ex-spouse need to complete 
    • Calendar deadlines for each item that must be met
  2. Close Joint Accounts
    Joint accounts include bank accounts, credit cards, and utilities, and may include removing a spouse from joint real estate pursuant to the final judgment.
  3. Update Insurance Coverage
    • Property Insurance: remove the property you no longer own and add the property you now have
    • Automobile: be sure to remove any vehicles you no longer own
    • Life insurance: update beneficiaries which may include removing your spouse as beneficiary (unless otherwise ordered in your final judgment)
    • Medical, dental, vision, accident
  1. Name Change (if included in your Final Judgment)*
    • Order at least two certified copies of the Final Judgment of Dissolution of Marriage
    • Take a certified copy of the Final Judgment to the Social Security Administration to change the name associated with your social security number
    • Take your new social security card or temporary card to the DMV for your new license
    • Keep a certified copy for your records
  2. Contact Account Holders To Update Your Name:
    • Professional Licenses
    • Bank Accounts
    • Credit Card Accounts 
    • Utilities 
    • Medical records

*Changing a name after divorce can become complicated, and the attorneys at McCart & Tesmer, P.A. are ready to help. For a free consultation to discuss your matter, please call (813) 498-2757 or email info@McCartTesmer.com. Read more about the process in our blog, “Name Change After Divorce.”

  1. Taxes

Schedule an appointment with your accountant or a CPA (a Certified Public Accountant) to determine which filing status is most beneficial to you. Read our blog, 7 Family Law Tips For Managing Tax Season, to prepare for your meeting ahead of time.

  1. Update Your Estate Plan 
    • Remove prior designations naming your ex-spouse
    • Nominate a guardian for minor children
    • Create a trust to control the money that you plan to pass to children to prevent an ex-spouse from receiving and managing funds left to your children

The lawyers at McCart and Tesmer can help you sort out many of the complexities of your family’s restructuring after divorce, from time-sharing and decision-making to child support and everything in between. We can give you the tools necessary for your new journey. For further questions regarding post-divorce plans, please contact us at McCart & Tesmer, P.A.

4 Vital Co-Parenting Tips for Military Deployment

Military Deployment
Timesharing is hard enough when both parents are physically present, so imagine what it is like to have one parent far, far away. This is the reality for thousands of families in America when their co-parent is on military deployment to another country or American territory. Sometimes a family will only get a week’s notice before the deployment date. So, learning what to do long before anyone receives orders to mobilize is definitely our recommended course of action. McCart and Tesmer want to share a few tips on co-parenting plans for military deployment. 

Coping with Deployment is Tough for Kiddos

When a parent leaves on deployment, it can be very confusing for kids. This goes double for ones aged younger than 10. Your child will likely need time to adjust to their new reality and they might feel a little confused about what exactly is happening. The most important thing to do if your co-parent deploys is be as transparent as possible about timelines and the co-parent’s whereabouts. This will help make the situation less abstract, and the more concrete it feels, the easier a kid can digest what’s happening. Here are a few tips to guide your child through that process:

  1. Talk about the parent that is deployed. You can share memories with the kids or go to your co-parent’s favorite place and make an afternoon of it. You could recreate a special dish they make or you could coordinate calls with the deployed parent. Whatever you do, do your best to ensure the child feels that co-parent’s love.
  1. Take note of behavioral changes. If they are toddlers, they might throw fits and tantrums or act out in other ways in response to the co-parent’s departure. Pre-schoolers might have lapses in thumb-sucking, toilet training, or emotional regulation. Teenagers might become distant or angry. It’s likely for any school-aged child to perform differently academically and behaviorally in school. Do your best to notice any changes in your child; the earlier you can help them, the better.
  1. Reassure them about safety. No matter how old or young, your child will likely understand to a degree that deployment can be dangerous. Tell them they are safe with you and the trouble is far away. If they seem concerned about the co-parent’s safety, make them aware or remind them that the military has strenuous training to prepare for deployment. The situation won’t last forever, and your child will need to hear that.
  1. Create a coping strategy with them. This one is a little tricky as each child will have different needs. A safe space could be talking with their siblings, a therapist, or you. Coping could be an activity they can access to calm them down like physical movement (dance, sports, ect) or simple meditation. Consider any groups or resources in the area like Military Kids Connect, which provides age-appropriate resources for kids during the deployment process. Again, this tip is easily the most fluid because the right solution will differ depending on age, finances, family structure, and the child’s emotional regulation process. Talk to them about their needs and prioritize their feelings when you plan for the length of deployment. 

We have years of experience with the needs of families who are serving or retired from the military. Please visit our website for all family law-related issues if you’re interested in learning more. Our law firm at McCart and Tesmer is well versed in all types of family law, including special needs children, estate planning, and much more. If you need legal expertise, get in touch with us today to set up a free consultation! 

Special Needs Children and Divorce: Intentional Co-Parenting is Key

special-needs-co-parenting

Divorce is hard. Co-parenting is tough. Add in special needs for your child and it is almost impossible to hold it all together for the child. Divorced co-parenting with a special needs child requires frequent communication from both parents. The conflict level and circumstances of the divorce can make co-parenting straightforward or strenuous. The way you choose to co-parent will impact every child differently. Their special needs, individual temperament, and the child’s age are additional factors to be considered. Divorced parents who are co-parenting with a special needs kid is a subject that just isn’t talked about enough. Since we focus on Family Law  at McCart & Tesmer we decided to change that.

Special needs is an umbrella term that can refer to physical or cognitive disabilities,  autism, ADHD, and so much more. Whatever the case, when it comes to co-parenting your special needs child, it is crucial to consider the nature and gravity of their needs. There is no one-size-fits-all special needs plan, but there are things that all parents with special needs kids need to consider. 

  • Being Flexible for the Child’s Fluctuating Needs
    When a child has special needs, there are extra considerations. Things like medications, emotional irregularities, physical distress or comfort, Individual Education Plans, equipment that can vary in mobility are not always static. These things will fluctuate and change and must always be at the top of your mind. Pro-Tip — Remember that some battles are not worth fighting if your co-parent is not on board with certain needs-related decisions. As they say, “Pick your battles.” Is it about “being right” or the child’s best interests?
  • Create a Decision-Making Structure
    Medical, emotional, educational, and financial needs will often vary. A go-to decision-making structure can relieve some of the stress involved in the ever-changing day-to-day. We suggest prioritizing the decision based on urgency. Consider where your and your co-parent’s strengths, weaknesses, and expertise lie in order to divide options by category or split everything 50/50. Finding what works best for you and your co-parent will significantly reduce all decision-making stress. For example, Mom handles scheduling doctor’s appointments, and Dad takes on in-home care communication.
  • Stick to Routines
    No matter the custody agreement or what conflicts may arise: routine is critical. If possible, schedule medical or therapeutic appointments that do not change month to month. Stick to whatever dietary routine has been agreed upon and established. Changing something simple like a bedtime ritual can seriously disturb a special needs child’s sense of stability. Divorce is already a layer of instability for your child’s world, and it’s essential to do everything you can for their comfort. Maintaining consistent routines is a huge part of that.
  • Take Stock of Available Resources
    Support groups, therapists, caretakers, non-profits, and government supplements to income can all be possible resources. There are groups for sensory integration disorder, autism, ADHD, Down Syndrome, and more in the Tampa area. Programs range from art to equestrian activities. There are non-profits like the American Association of Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities(AAIDD) that offer educational workshops and journals. Since the start of the pandemic, many more groups offer virtual components as well. Do some research to find what meets your needs.
  • Preparing Them Together for the Future
    Disabled adults often face many things non-disabled adults would never have to consider. Disabled adults risk losing needs-based government aid like Medicaid or Supplemental Security Income if they get married. Depending on the state, possessing more than $2,000 in the bank can disqualify a disabled person from receiving government aid. Implementing a Supplemental Special Needs Trust can help. If the child’s independence is not possible, when will conservatorship or guardianship be necessary? To ensure the child’s success growing into an adult, devise a plan with your co-parent to educate your child on their legal protections and available resources before turning eighteen.
  • Take Care of Yourself
    Just because this is last on the list doesn’t mean it’s not essential. Parents of kids with special needs should still be able to have a life! Caretaking is incredibly stressful, so it is easy to get burned out. When you add divorce and everyday responsibilities, it can be incredibly tough to make time for self-care. Taking care of yourself can model important behaviors like setting and understanding boundaries, self-care, and independence, to name a few.

Parents take extra steps to ensure proper development psychologically, physically, and emotionally for their special needs kids. In previous posts, we’ve written about parenting planning tools, and all of these can be starting points for special needs kids as well. Please contact us at McCart & Tesmer, P.A. for additional guidance and support on parental planning.

7 Back-to-School Resources For The Upcoming Florida School Year

The upcoming school year is quickly approaching which means it is time for parents and children to start getting prepared! With schools allowing students to return to campus, access to back-to-school resources is essential for a successful school year. 

Based in Tampa Bay, Florida, the team at  McCart and Tesmer decided to gather a few back-to-school resources for the families in our area to ease the stress of returning to classrooms this year.

  1. Tax-Free Week – By far, one of the most helpful back-to-school resources for parents is Florida’s Tax-Free Week. From Saturday, July 31 to Monday, August 9, back-to-school shoppers can take advantage of tax-free school supplies. Tax-Free Items include most school supplies selling for $15 or less, accessories, clothing, footwear selling for $60 or less, and more! Click here to learn more about Florida’s tax-free week at.
  2. School Supplies – Going back to school requires buying all of the supplies necessary for the new school year. School supplies can become expensive as lists grow longer each year. Luckily, Hillsborough County Public Schools is putting on their “14th Annual Back to School Fair” at WestShore Plaza mall in Tampa. The back-to-school fair is free to attend and will offer free backpacks to the first 500 kids in line! The event will include giveaways, performances, activities, and over 60 different vendors. Click here to learn more about this valuable back-to-school resource.
  3. Back-to-School Health Clinics – COVID-19 is still a looming issue among children returning to school. To protect the health of students, faculty, and staff, The Back to School Coalition of Hillsborough County has organized “Back-2-School Health Clinics”. The “Back-2-School Health Clinics” are available to students in kindergarten through high school. The clinics provide physicals, eye exams, dental screenings, immunizations, and shot record updates. The COVID-19 vaccine will also be available to children 12 to 18; however, space is limited. Click here to register!
  4. School Meals – Having a healthy meal at lunch is essential for school children. Hillsborough County Student Nutrition Services offers free breakfast for all students and low prices for school lunch meals. Many children do not have access to fresh and healthy meals. If you are in a household receiving benefits, your child may be eligible to receive free or reduced-price meals. Click here for more information about this back-to-school resource.
  5. After-School Programs – Keeping children motivated and active is paramount during their developmental years. After-school programs are a great way to provide physical, social, academic, and emotional growth for children. Hillsborough County Public Schools provides a before and after school program called HOST. HOST is an affordable option for parents who work full-time or are looking for physical and academic support for their children. To register your child, visit https://www.hillsboroughschools.org/Page/3768. For a list of other exceptional after-school programs click here.
  6. Homework Help –  Children need a little homework help sometimes, math in particular. Hillsborough County Public Schools offers a free service to all students called the Math Homework Hotline. Students can call in and ask specific questions about any of their math problems. On certain Thursdays, the Math Homework Hotline conducts a live show broadcasting math questions and topics. Topics include everything from Linear Functions to Ratios and Rates. Click here to utilize this back-to-school resource.
  7. Mental Health – With the stress and uncertainty of the pandemic, it is crucial now more than ever for students of all ages to take care of their mental health. After a far from typical year, students returning to school may be struggling a bit with their mental health. Mental health problems can interfere with children’s learning, relationships, and emotional development. The Florida Department of Education provides resources and contacts for children struggling with their mental health. Parents also have access to speak with a member of Student Services, a school social worker, school nurse, school psychologist, or school counselor. Click here to learn more!

After a hectic year (and summer!), returning to the classroom can be a little less stressful with these 7 Back-to-School Resources for the 2021-2022 school year. Make sure you take advantage of all of the back-to-school resources available for the best success. The lawyers at McCart and Tesmer want to wish you and your families an incredible academic year filled with in-person learning, laughs, and lots of fun! Give us a call for all of your family law needs.